It’s time for the Los Angeles Lakers to wake up in time for the NBA Finals. To do so, they’ll need to rely on Lamar Odom, whose name can be rearranged to spell “Alarm Doom.”
As long as we’re rearranging letters, Nomar Garciaparra signed a one-day contract earlier this season with the caveat of retiring as a Boston Red Sox. One of the more unique names in all of sports, we’re lucky Nomar’s father, Ramon, only reversed the spelling of his son’s first name and not his last. I would have quit sports writing before spelling out Ramon Arrapaicrag on a consistent basis.
Begin typing “When was the last time the…” into Google and the search engine’s first suggestion is “the New York Jets won a Superbowl?.”
Other championship droughts that Google suggests include the Viking, Cowboys, Saint, Colts and Cubs.
It also spits out the suggestion “the planets aligned?.”
The answer, of course, is same as the last time the Cubs won a World Series.
So what else does Google suggest based on the start of common queries?
A few examples (at least according to my computer settings):
Begin by typing:
Is it illegal for a…man to marry his widow’s sister?
Answer: ‘Till death did we part…
When is it appropriate to…say I love you?
Let’s let www.myfemalesexuality.com handle that one. Instead we’ll jump to Google’s next suggestion:
When is it appropriate to…use a semicolon?
The answers; vary
At what point…does a cell phone become a living thing?
No answer is given, but it sure beats answering the next Google option:
At what point…does a girl become a woman?
Sounds like another question for Myfemalesexuality.com.
How do you play…curling?
Not exactly grammatically correct, but I believe you start by going to the liquor store and buying a six-pack of Labatt Blue.
Who was the first player…to sign with the New England Whalers?
Answer: Larry Pleau; you had to ask?
How many athletes…use steroids?
Answer: None, wink, wink…
Speaking of drugs in the sports place, introducing the MLB ALL GANJA TEAM:
Tobi Stoner, P – Mets
Justin Smoak, 1B - Rangers
Jung Bong, P – Braves
B.J. Weed, OF – Angels
Bret Hemphill, C – Angels
Darren Grass, C – Padres
Brandon Puffer, P – Twins
John Danks, P – White Sox
All-Marijuana Team Hall-of-Fame:
Herb Hash, P – Red Sox